Tips for Reducing Stress and Improving Sleep

Another year, another resolution to improve my sleep. Insert eye roll here. This time for real, though. Or so I hope. My body has been showing signs of really, really needing some care, and sleep feels like the foundation of it all, so I’ve been highly motivated to get it together. I started on January 1st, as any good New Year’s Resolution starts, and so far, I’ve been able to not only stick with it, but I’m seeing the positive effects of my efforts, which is motivating me to keep going with it.

It started with me looking closely at my HRV number and noticing that it has been exceptionally low (between 9 and like 18 for the last 8 months or so, with the occasional day in the 30s). Normal healthy range is above 50, so that was a bit of a wake up call. In researching, it seems there are four ways to improve your HRV score:

Increase exercise (I already train 4 days a week and I am certain I do not need to add more).

Improve nutrition (I already track macros and eat varied micronutrients and balanced macronutrients so I’m good there).

Manage stress (Between Buckles’ passing, losing my uncle to bone cancer, my marriage ending, and me moving into temporary housing as I look for a house to buy in a market with zero inventory and inflated prices, yeah. Stress has been at an all-time absolute high).

Improve sleep (I’m not sure I have ever had consistently good sleep. We’re exploring the root causes in therapy, but I know that for at least the last year and a half to two years or so, I have been averaging between 5 and 6 hours per night).

So I started focusing on stress and sleep. Here’s what I’ve done:

No more doom scrolling. I used to spend forever on TikTok at night. It was a coping mechanism and a way to avoid dealing with my own emotions. Now I’m pretty much only on TikTok when I’m on the treadmill walking, and before bed, I’m reading. (Currently reading this.)

Turned my phone screen red once the sun sets. This improves melatonin production and instantly feels so much better for your eyes when it’s dark out.

Bought a red light panel. I listened to this podcast to help determine which panel to buy and it also goes into all the different benefits of red light therapy.

Started being consistent with my magnesium glycinate every night.

Started using magnesium spray on the bottoms of the feet every night.

I want to stay chilled out before bed, so I’m not allowing myself to do anything stressful before bed. No more work, no back and forth animated texting, tidying up, folding laundry, washing dishes, bustling about the apartment. I find it raises my heart rate too much, and I get, like, too stimulated.

When I need to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I use a very very dim light because when I turn on the bright bathroom light, I find I feel too awake to fall back asleep.

I turn the temperature down to 64 for sleeping.

I use a fan for white noise.

I use an eye mask to make it exceptionally dark when I sleep.

For stress, I’m monitoring how I feel frequently. I’ll body scan throughout the day to check in and see if there’s tension in my body and I’ll stop what I’m doing and try to relax when I find the tension. If I’m on the phone and someone is getting extremely animated when they’re relaying a hard day they had, I’ll ask them to stop and take a deep breath and lower their tone and intensity and explain that it’s affecting me to the point that I’m feeling stressed about it (these are very, very good friends, I probably wouldn’t do this with anyone else).

I try to nasal breathe throughout the day. There are so many benefits to nasal breathing, but it’s especially good for stress management as well.

I’m journaling frequently (I use the app Notion). The act of getting my thoughts down has been really helpful in managing my stress because once the thoughts are out of my head and onto the paper, I have so much more clarity and calm.

Other things to note:

I drink only one cup of coffee in the morning.

I’ve always been on high alert – I’m working to become more calm, but I can’t do loud alarm clocks because they send me into an absolute panic and I feel terrible for the rest of the day. So I’ve used these clocks that mimic the sun in the past, and now I use my FitBit, which has a vibration alarm that goes off on your wrist. I love it because it’s enough to wake me up but not so jarring that it sends me into a tailspin.

I’ve reduced my THC intake because I’d learned from the Huberman Labs podcast that in certain instances with longterm use, THC can increase anxiety. I was at about 30mg a night, and now have reduced to probably 5-10mg/night.

I don’t normally drink that often (maybe 2 drinks a month?) but I’ve reduced that even more now because every time I drink my heart rate spikes and I get terrible sleep through the night.

Ultimately, I’m just more mindful, which is such an eyeroll thing to say because I feel like it’s so vague. But it’s truly as simple (remember, simple doesn’t mean easy) as slowing down, checking in with myself, and actively moving, thinking, feeling and going about my life with more intention. It’s the scramble mode, the hustle mode that tends to send me into a spiral and make me feel like the stress is out of control. If it’s hard to remember to check in with yourself, I’ve had a client reduce her resting heart rate by setting an alarm on her phone three times a day and every time it’d go off, she’d take three slow, deep breaths, so you could try that if you need a reminder.

Answering your questions from IG

You mentioned in a podcast a song that helps with anxiety, which was it? It’s called Weightless by Marconi Union. It was recommended by Huberman Labs podcast as a song that is shown to reduce anxiety by 60% when listening to it.

Have you also used Oura? No.

Do you notice any sleep patterns that correspond with your cycle? No.

If you wake up during the night and your mind starts going, how do you quiet it? I just talk to myself like I would talk to a small child who won’t sleep, haha. I say, “We’re not gonna think about that right now. It’s time to sleep, and we can figure that out in the morning.”

Favorite pillow? I actually don’t believe in pillows unless you’re sleeping on your side. I feel like they mess up spinal alignment otherwise because they put you into spinal flexion when on your back. So I have a thin one I don’t really use – it’s just for looks haha.

I keep waking up at 2am and unable to fall back asleep. You probably want to look at your blood sugar and making sure you’re eating something with protein before bed. I think there’s something else you’re supposed to eat with it but I can’t remember if it’s fat or carbs – best to talk with a naturopath or holistic hormone specialist to help.

What’s a good sleep app to use with my Apple Watch? I don’t know, I don’t have an Apple Watch, but I use Whoop as a separate device and you can get a free month of it here.

Best sleep positions for extra heavy weighted blanket? I’d probably just sleep on my back? I dunno, the extra weight gives me anxiety. I don’t like when they’re too heavy.

So far, my efforts have really paid off. Every single night since I’ve started this, with the exception of one night where I just slept terribly, I’ve been able to increase my sleep, improve my recovery score via Whoop, and my HRV number hasn’t dipped below 34.

I hope that’s helpful!