Life Lessons at 39

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post! Mostly because no one’s got an attention span for a blog post these days, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to get rid of this website yet because this blog holds so many memories. Today is my 39th birthday and I thought I’d revive the blog to jot down some current guiding principles from the last year.

Celebrate life anytime the urge strikes. One of the biggest lessons that was driven home this past year was that life can be so short, so don’t wait to celebrate. I threw a huge joint birthday bash with my friend Sara, and we went all out with a DJ, and a photo booth and on one hand, that might’ve looked a little weird since it wasn’t a milestone 40th birthday, but my thinking is: why wait? My mortality is always in the back of my head, so with that in mind – let’s celebrate now! Why wait til next year when tomorrow isn’t even promised?

Express your love for your people. In that same vein of remembering that life is short, my paternal grandmother always said not to bring flowers to her funeral. In fact, she told me multiple times to not even go to her funeral (and I didn’t – I had a trip planned, and knew she wouldn’t have wanted me to cancel my plans). She had always said, “Give the flowers when people are alive! Visit people instead of waiting until their funeral.” I take it a step further, and really try to express to people how much they mean to me, or how much I really care about them even though it might feel awkward or out of the blue. Especially on birthdays. Again, you never know how long you have someone, so write the text, send the card, say it to their face – express how they feel. It may brighten their whole day.

Take the liberty of redefining and redesigning a life you love. Designing a life I loved has always been at the forefront of my mind, but priorities can change. For the longest time, financial stability was always my goal, but recently, I’m prioritizing more of a work/life balance (lolllll still not there yet, but making strides!), making time to deepen the friendships and relationships in my life, and learning to readjust my workload to accommodate those needs. I think sometimes we get so stuck in the routine of day to day life that we don’t realize we have the power to change our minds, and change our routines as we see fit.

Don’t change for anyone. This past year I have had the honor of working with a handful of celebrities, as well as high profile clientele. When it comes to coaching people through a workout, I’ve learned that I can’t be anyone other than myself because it just doesn’t translate well. The other day, it really clicked for me. I was working with a CFO who has never worked out before, and we need to start with the absolute basics. I could tell they were feeling very uncomfortable. In any other scenario, they are the top dog – the one to be feared. In a workout scenario, they have no clue what they’re doing, they feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and inadequate (their words, not mine!) – and my go-to is to lighten the mood with jokes and silliness to kind of dissolve the tension and pressure. So we were doing monster walks, and I told my client to channel their inner Frankenstein and “get weird with it” as they moved, and they laughed. This was huge, because the discomfort and sense of inadequacy was palpable, so the laughter cut it all and poof – it was gone. This person may never truly enjoy working out, but if I can make it less miserable by simply bringing my authentic energy into it, rather than getting in my own head and feeling intimidated by their power in the workforce, then hopefully I’ve done a good job.

Take chances when they feel right. This year, I added a dance class at my studio. It’s been so well received, people were asking for a second. My dance instructor couldn’t do it, so my friend and I got creative and developed a dance-based fitness class that feels authentic to us, and in line with what our participants want. It’s a new form of movement than what I’m used to teaching, and we’re still ironing our skills out, but we have a really clear vision, and it’s been so well received thus far – so while it felt scary and slightly vulnerable to create and offer something totally new, the end result (thus far!) has been phenomenal.

Group chats for the win. I used to loathe group chats. Like get. Me. Outta here! But I have a handful that I absolutely love. I have a couple friend ones, immediate family, and cousin ones and they’re the best. With my friend and cousin ones, we shoot the shit, check in randomly throughout the day, share wins and losses – and it’s just the best. With my immediate family, we share our Wordle scores each day – ha! It makes me feel so connected to my circle, and I just love it. Strongly recommend.

This year, my intention is to keep working towards my goals, keep striving for more of a work/life balance, continue to do the things I love, deepens my friendships and relationships, and continue to work on my vision for a beautiful life. xo Candace